We do so much thinking (especially as students), and most of the time, we are feeling, too. These ideas come into our daily lives often without our explicitly willing them: "I was thinking ..." when making a proposition; "How do you feel/What do you think about ____?" in similar circumstances.
At our winter retreat, Fr. Shawn Monahan proposed this triad as a device to help in our own introspection: What are my thoughts, feelings, and desires (possibly pertaining to the subject at hand)? I have found this device to be tremendously fruitful, especially when we either have nothing striking in our immediate past that begs our consideration, or the opposite, when we have something so significant and overwhelming that we know not where to begin processing it. It is also a great standard for making journal entries complete.
I recently spoke with a friend who is a part of our wonderful music ministry here at St. Clement's, about her own vocational journey and how to approach discernment. Besides having a spiritual director (or as Fr. Tim often puts it, a "wise spiritual guide" or "spiritual accompaniment"), I have found spiritual journaling indispensable in capturing my present mood and state in order to look back and observe trends or correlations.
For me, the image that best captures how this helps is the cliché forest (the big picture) and trees (the details), often expressed in terms of the extremes: missing the forest for the trees (focusing on details, to the neglect of the big picture) or vice-versa. This type of guided journaling gets us moving expressing the trees (which in itself is a great exercise, even in the moment, to write as spontaneously as possible, as questions enter our head and we try to answer them, having to frame the situation on paper) and then when we look back, in a way "zooming out" to see the whole forest (nonetheless composed of trees) there is so much more light shed on the subject because all of those details are available.
We were just learning in Philosophical Psychology (the study of the soul, its nature and its powers, not necessarily the modern psychoanalytic field or what may be loosely termed "personality") that human beings remember things by returning to the specific image or real object of which our memory has stored its form. An obvious example of this is a childhood photo album. It's not that you don't remember your early life or that you were absent for it; rather, your memory of those events that you barely remember can be "triggered" by seeing those photos once more. And one can refresh knowledge once learned by thumbing through a textbook that helps recall that knowledge (the common literary phrase: "it all came rushing back to me").
In spiritual discernment, seeing both the forest and the trees, and identifying our thoughts, feelings, and desires really help us to see, especially at prayer and by the light of God's grace, what influences us, what occupies our consciousness, what tugs at our heart, what weighs us down and what excites us. The question is so often posed: I know deep down that to do God's will is what I ought to strive for, but how will I know? For some, a special grace of an unwavering conviction in what they have discovered God's will to be eliminates this doubt and hesitancy. For most, we may try things out and reach that threshold at which we become "sure enough" that what we have discerned is true, and it is our surrendering leap of faith that disposes us to receive the graces that will carry us through that decision.
In today's crazy political climate, I sometimes wonder if I could have been out there in the trenches of politics, arguing or promoting awareness of the grave injustices being incorporated into the laws and judicial precedent of this country. But then I remember those thoughts, feelings, and desires that brought me to where I am, and understanding that as a member of the human family and the Body of Christ, what I do according to where I am now does indeed contribute to the cause.
Holy Week is the most liturgically expressive week of the year, and here in seminary, we are immersed in all of it. Beginning with Palm (Passion) Sunday tomorrow, we will attend the Chrism Mass at the Cathedral on Tuesday and then participate in Holy Thursday's Mass of the Lord's Supper (as well as visit several churches in the area to pray at their altars of repose), the Celebration of Our Lord's Passion on Holy Friday, the great Easter Vigil, and a festive Easter Sunday. In between papers and other assigned readings, we seek to enter into the spirit of Holy Week, with Jesus' joyous entrance into Jerusalem at the beginning of the week, the profound gift of His Body and Blood sacramentally on Thursday and physically on Friday, and the consummation of the Paschal Mystery in the Resurrection. As I have reflected many times before, at this time, the Church drops out of the merely logical structure that normally governs the liturgical calendar, and steps through these events at the heart of the mystery of our salvation in real time. Rather than remember for a moment events that consumed entire days or weeks, we have a chance to enter into these mysteries deeply. Fr. Tom advised that we offered the suggestion that we select a single character and follow Holy Week that way - choose a disciple, a Roman soldier, an attendant at Herod's court, the Jewish priests, the man who signalled to the apostles where to prepare to celebrate the Last Supper, Veronica, or the women of Jerusalem who meet Our Lord at the 8th station of the Cross.
This, too, is an opportunity to consider thoughts, feelings, and desires. As we witness the ultimate example of love, giving one's life for one's friend, and for us as we contemplate in a particular way our own self-sacrifice in religious life, let us see the forest: the grand mystery of salvation of all mankind and the meaning of our individual lives; and the trees: the experiences and gifts, the trials and triumphs and all the wonderful people we meet along the way. And let us not forget the precious intercession of our Blessed Mother Mary, who by her fiat mihi secudum verbum tuum ("let it be done unto me according to your word"), consented that God be incarnate through her, attended His bitter passion, herself pierced by a sword, and now brings our petitions to her Son, our Savior.
Have a blessed Holy Week, and Love the Immaculata!
Mariam cogita, Mariam invoca
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Commandments
Today's readings include the Decalogue (Greek for 10 Words), which provided an excellent opportunity for catechesis on the moral life and Christian living. Br. Steve and I seized the moment for our RCIA class and constructed a class using the day's readings as well as material from the CCC (#1950–1986 and #1716) and then going over the 10 Commandments in more practical detail, understanding, as Jesus presents in his Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5), that it is the spirit of the law that matters. Further, in that same spirit, minor transgressions of the law (generally, venial sins) as well as omissions (good things we choose not to do when we ought to) are all shortcomings about which we should be sorry and desire to improve.
The connection to today's gospel, which I only realized in the midst of Br. Steve's explanation of the context of the cleansing of the temple, was even more enlightening. The business that had developed in the outer court of the Temple in Jerusalem was to provide the animals for sacrifice that Jews would have to purchase in order to make the prescribed offering according to Mosaic law; and Jews coming from outside the immediate vicinity would likely have to exchange their foreign currency (perhaps Roman) for the currency accepted by the Temple priests (commonly weighed in shekels, as we saw earlier this week at the Dead Sea Scrolls exhibit in Times Square). So this whole business of buying what was needed to satisfy the letter of the law became wrapped up in what Jesus was to destroy as the earthly dwelling of the Most High—He would replace the Temple both as the singular physical dwelling place of God and as the means by which our sins are ultimately forgiven. And, as the Gospel states, His disciples "came to believe in the Scriptures" concerning Him, and the convergence of the prophecies of old, of Jesus' own prophecy ("that He had said this"), and of their fulfillment in the Resurrection.
Br. Steve furthermore pointed out that no Temple has been rebuilt on the site since its destruction about 40 years after Jesus' death and resurrection, and that such an act would likely constitute a World War, due to the occupation of the site by the al'Aqsa mosque (commonly known as the Shrine of the Rock), among the holiest sites in Islam. So that temple was indeed destroyed, and in three days' time, the Temple of His Body was raised up and replaced the former tradition of animal sacrifices for transgressions of the Mosaic law.
Good stuff!
Love the Immaculata!
Mariam cogita, Mariam invoca
The connection to today's gospel, which I only realized in the midst of Br. Steve's explanation of the context of the cleansing of the temple, was even more enlightening. The business that had developed in the outer court of the Temple in Jerusalem was to provide the animals for sacrifice that Jews would have to purchase in order to make the prescribed offering according to Mosaic law; and Jews coming from outside the immediate vicinity would likely have to exchange their foreign currency (perhaps Roman) for the currency accepted by the Temple priests (commonly weighed in shekels, as we saw earlier this week at the Dead Sea Scrolls exhibit in Times Square). So this whole business of buying what was needed to satisfy the letter of the law became wrapped up in what Jesus was to destroy as the earthly dwelling of the Most High—He would replace the Temple both as the singular physical dwelling place of God and as the means by which our sins are ultimately forgiven. And, as the Gospel states, His disciples "came to believe in the Scriptures" concerning Him, and the convergence of the prophecies of old, of Jesus' own prophecy ("that He had said this"), and of their fulfillment in the Resurrection.
Br. Steve furthermore pointed out that no Temple has been rebuilt on the site since its destruction about 40 years after Jesus' death and resurrection, and that such an act would likely constitute a World War, due to the occupation of the site by the al'Aqsa mosque (commonly known as the Shrine of the Rock), among the holiest sites in Islam. So that temple was indeed destroyed, and in three days' time, the Temple of His Body was raised up and replaced the former tradition of animal sacrifices for transgressions of the Mosaic law.
Good stuff!
Love the Immaculata!
Mariam cogita, Mariam invoca
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Spring Break Adventures
View my Spring Break photos:
We postulants set off on an adventure last Sunday night, and arrived in Philadelphia shortly before midnight. The following day, we got acquainted with our surroundings in the historic district of Philadelphia and then met Archbishop Charles Chaput, OFM Cap. for lunch - he was a very entertaining host and was very honest about all that has confronted him since his arrival from Denver - the Church in Philadelphia can certainly use much prayer.
Later that day, we had our tour of Independence Hall and the historic sights there. We visited the Shrine of St. John Neumann, at St. Peter the Apostle church, for Mass, and afterward got to hear about the history of Redemptorist missionary work during his ministry. This was my favorite stop out of the trip, with the Dead Sea Scrolls in Times Square a close second, because in my discernment with the Redemptorists, I had come to really appreciate their spirituality, and as I learned later, Fr. Lanteri also took great inspiration from Redemptorist (specifically Liguorian) moral theology at at the founding of the Oblates. It was very powerful to be there in such a historically symbolic place for not only the great work of Redemptorists and Cardinal Neumann but for the growth of the Church in America.
We headed to New York City the next morning, to have lunch with Fr. Richard at St. Malachy's in Midtown. After learning about the unique ministry to the Broadway community there, we hiked a few blocks to Times Square to see the Dead Sea Scrolls at the Discovery center. That was a very well-done exhibit showing the cultural-historical context of pre-biblical times and the environment in which the scriptures were written, and it was just incredible to stand there and peer in on the ancient parchment that bears the carefully-written and most complete collection of scriptural texts that we have today. I was able to pick out a bit of Greek that was also included there, though most of the scrolls are in Hebrew.
We headed over to Old St. Patrick's Cathedral for Mass and Rosary with Eucharistic Adoration and Benediction, then hopped on the subway down to Little Italy for dinner. We swung by Ground Zero, which was also a powerful experience to see "the gap" the fallen towers left, and the construction in progress of the Freedom Tower. Several of us shared the sentiment that it was like visiting a cemetery, very cognizant of the thousands of lives that were lost there.
We stopped for Mass the next morning in North Bergen, New Jersey, at Our Lady of Fatima, which we learned from the pastor is the parish where a come-and-see guest last year is the music director. We swung by Josh's parents in Holden, MA for lunch before returning to Boston - a great way to finish the trip!
So that was a crazy three days of our Spring Break, and we've been relaxing a bit more since we returned. Now it's time to gear up for a couple midterm exams next week. Please continue to pray for my discernment of how to proceed next year, and challenge yourself to live Lent better - we're closing the second week of Lent, which means the first third of it is already behind us - renew your zeal for the Lenten practices you set for yourself, or commit to some for the remainder of this powerful season!
Love the Immaculata!
Mariam cogita, Mariam invoca
We postulants set off on an adventure last Sunday night, and arrived in Philadelphia shortly before midnight. The following day, we got acquainted with our surroundings in the historic district of Philadelphia and then met Archbishop Charles Chaput, OFM Cap. for lunch - he was a very entertaining host and was very honest about all that has confronted him since his arrival from Denver - the Church in Philadelphia can certainly use much prayer.
Later that day, we had our tour of Independence Hall and the historic sights there. We visited the Shrine of St. John Neumann, at St. Peter the Apostle church, for Mass, and afterward got to hear about the history of Redemptorist missionary work during his ministry. This was my favorite stop out of the trip, with the Dead Sea Scrolls in Times Square a close second, because in my discernment with the Redemptorists, I had come to really appreciate their spirituality, and as I learned later, Fr. Lanteri also took great inspiration from Redemptorist (specifically Liguorian) moral theology at at the founding of the Oblates. It was very powerful to be there in such a historically symbolic place for not only the great work of Redemptorists and Cardinal Neumann but for the growth of the Church in America.
We headed to New York City the next morning, to have lunch with Fr. Richard at St. Malachy's in Midtown. After learning about the unique ministry to the Broadway community there, we hiked a few blocks to Times Square to see the Dead Sea Scrolls at the Discovery center. That was a very well-done exhibit showing the cultural-historical context of pre-biblical times and the environment in which the scriptures were written, and it was just incredible to stand there and peer in on the ancient parchment that bears the carefully-written and most complete collection of scriptural texts that we have today. I was able to pick out a bit of Greek that was also included there, though most of the scrolls are in Hebrew.
We headed over to Old St. Patrick's Cathedral for Mass and Rosary with Eucharistic Adoration and Benediction, then hopped on the subway down to Little Italy for dinner. We swung by Ground Zero, which was also a powerful experience to see "the gap" the fallen towers left, and the construction in progress of the Freedom Tower. Several of us shared the sentiment that it was like visiting a cemetery, very cognizant of the thousands of lives that were lost there.
We stopped for Mass the next morning in North Bergen, New Jersey, at Our Lady of Fatima, which we learned from the pastor is the parish where a come-and-see guest last year is the music director. We swung by Josh's parents in Holden, MA for lunch before returning to Boston - a great way to finish the trip!
So that was a crazy three days of our Spring Break, and we've been relaxing a bit more since we returned. Now it's time to gear up for a couple midterm exams next week. Please continue to pray for my discernment of how to proceed next year, and challenge yourself to live Lent better - we're closing the second week of Lent, which means the first third of it is already behind us - renew your zeal for the Lenten practices you set for yourself, or commit to some for the remainder of this powerful season!
Love the Immaculata!
Mariam cogita, Mariam invoca
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